Have you ever had the feeling of wanting to do something but then feeling terrified to start? Thoughts of you’re not good enough or fear of failure stopping you in your tracks. These beliefs of feeling unworthy or not good enough are a normal approach when you don’t have a strong sense of self.

Without a strong sense of self you hold yourself back from leading a more confident life and going after what you want. You play small because if you dare to play big it brings up the fear it won’t work out, fear of the unknown and fear that you won’t be really happy.

And rather than turning inward and dealing with these thoughts of not being enough, you spend your whole life looking for answers outside of yourself in attempt to make you feel better on the inside. But all that ends up happening, is you spending your life in fear and constant worry.

It is not until you make the decision to love and accept yourself, flaws and all, that you will be able to lead a more confident life. It must begin from within you. To have a strong sense of self you need to embrace ALL of you – the good and not so good.

It is when you love those parts of you that you may not like as much, and accept them as part of your life experience, the negative hold they once had disappears and you can really start living a fulfilled life.

In life there are going to be times when you don’t feel confident, are unsure and things aren’t always perfect. But a strong sense of self provides you with the resilience to give something a go and regardless of the outcome, you still feel good about yourself.

As confidence comes not from knowing you know everything but from knowing you can handle what comes up. You know that confidence is not a reflection of what you know or don’t know. It’s weighted against your willingness and capacity to learn.

You can have a go, fall over, get back up and still feel good that you tried as you know that is part of the journey and there’s always something to learn.

That is how you are able to lead a more confident life. When you have a strong sense of self it brings an unshakeable power. Because you know who you are and no one can take away your power.

You won’t be taken down. You will rise. You will thrive.

It’s about having the belief in yourself and the confidence to keep moving forward each and every day. Knowing who you are and that you are a competent person but at the same time, you don’t have all the answers and that’s okay.

As it is the experiences along the way that are important and not so much the outcome. The real learning and growth happen in creating, working and doing the process of the goal. At the end of the day, you have no control over the outcome as there are always factors that you can’t control no matter how hard you try to.

The most important thing is you show up for you and your dreams. No matter what. That is how you lead a more confident life.

Below are 5 ways to help you lead a more confident life:

Know Yourself

Having self awareness and staying in the present moment are key to cultivating an inner connection and having a greater understanding of who you are and as a result, strengthening your sense of self.

When you get disconnected from the present moment it’s because you’ve become too ‘up in your head’.

And rather than deal with what is going on you continue to distract yourself by filling up your days so there’s no time to stop and reflect on what is actually going on.

Awareness is powerful. Being aware gives you perspective and allows you to notice and be curious about your experiences without trying to change or resist them.

It allows you to pause, get present with your body and self in the moment. It helps you identify what it is that you like and don’t like. How you want to live your life and what is really important to you.

Life is meant to be an adventure, a journey that takes you down paths providing you with various experiences that help you grow and learn more about yourself.

So start going through life with a curious and inquisitive mind and you may just be surprised about what you discover about yourself!

Believe In Yourself

Trusting yourself regardless of what others say, believe or expect of you and from you is an absolute must. When you start to doubt yourself you can allow fear and insecurities to creep back into your life.

Support and back yourself through all decisions and choices trusting that you have your best interest at heart and know what is best for you.

It’s having what Carol Dweck refers to as a growth mindset. Where you believe your talent can be developed through hard work, action, good strategies and help from others.

That you learn the way on the way. For those who believe in themself and come from a growth mindset, failures may sting but they also view them as opportunities for improvement and change.

It’s trusting yourself, that even if you don’t know how to do something that you’ll figure it out and go for it anyway.

You may not get it the first, second or third time, but it’s the action of learning from your mistakes and continuing to move forward despite the result.

It’s believing in yourself that you have the ability to achieve your dreams and goals and that this will only happen when you have the courage to begin.

Live And Speak Your Truth

When you allow yourself to listen to others as they tell you who you should be and how you should act, you are giving your power over to them in that moment.

You are virtually saying that they know you better than yourself and that you should do what they say.

You allow their voice to become more powerful than your own. In this moment, it is so important to stay connected to YOU – your highest self.

Staying connected to what you believe, how you feel, your values, morals and integrity, your point of view and how you want to live your life.

That is what is going to give you the confidence and courage you need to live for YOU and not anyone else.

Now I’m not saying don’t ever listen to other people’s advice/feedback as depending on what it may be, you can always learn and continue to grow.

It’s about being discerning – when you know and trust yourself, you will know when the advice is in your best interest and when it’s not.

If it’s not just let it go! Remember it’s always your choice how you choose to react and what you choose to take on.

Stay Away From The Negative And Bring On The Positivity

Next time you think negative thoughts about yourself stop and ask yourself where that thought is coming from. Become a detective and grab your journal to write down whatever thoughts come up.

Your sense of self has been built up from your own beliefs about yourself. However, most of these beliefs have unconsciously been formed from your past experiences, your successes and failures, your wins and how people have reacted to you especially in childhood.

Seeing yourself in a positive light requires an awareness and an alignment of your thoughts and actions. When you see yourself in a negative light you are not in alignment with your higher self.

So check in and see what is going on with you. Are there fears and beliefs that are still holding you back that you need to continue to work on?

As I said above, you’ve been holding onto these fears and beliefs since childhood so it’s not going to be an overnight process to release them.

Remember you have the power to control your thoughts – so when a negative thought pops up catch it before you turn it into a story.

Consciously choose to change any thoughts or feelings that are not serving you.

Be Kind And Compassionate To Yourself

No matter what the situation always be kind to yourself. Treat yourself the same way you would to those you love.

We all have days where we can get down on ourselves (most times it’s because we’re tired, stressed and overwhelmed) but give yourself a break because you are doing an amazing job at life.

If things didn’t go to plan don’t get hung about it – simply review the situation, take away the lessons and learnings that you can grow from and implement for next time.

And always do it with a compassionate and kind heart and no judgement. Life is all about learning and growing and you can only get that from experiences.

Remember you are AMAZING and you’ve got this. And no matter what – always be YOU – there’s no one like you and the world needs you to bring all of your amazing self to everything you do.

3 Actions To Help You Lead A More Confident Life

1. Practice being in the moment. Set an alarm on your phone for 10am, 2pm and 7pm. If you find you’re all in your head and thinking about the future or stuck in your past when your alarm goes off stop what you’re doing. Take 5 deep breaths to bring yourself back into the present moment and keep your focus only on whatever it is you’re doing.
2. Have a look at who is in your inner circle. Do they have your best interest at heart? Are they always negative and whining and complaining? If so, then it might be time to set some healthy boundaries – you don’t have to cut them out of your life completely but just try and reduce the time you’re spending with them.
3. Each week try something new. Whether it’s taking a different route to work, trying different food, a new hobby, different exercise class, exercising in the morning instead of evening. Mix things up and learn more about yourself.

Now I’d love to hear from you.

In the comments below let me know the times when you feel the most fear and self doubt in yourself and your abilities? And how you deal with those fears and keep yourself moving forward in your life and business?

Thank you as always for reading,

P.S if you have friends, clients or colleagues who want to lead a more confident life, forward this email. They’ll thank you for it!